Monday, December 28, 2009

[106] drilling



I have no idea what this ship actually does but you have to admit it's awesome!

Monday, December 14, 2009

[104] Close Encounters of the Cake Kind



What you don't know is that the cake is actually missing the back half in this photo. We got tired of waiting for that scene to appear in the movie and decided it would be safe to just eat the back and then hide it in the photo. Thanks to Liz for the idea and Ian for the title!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

[102] Overachievers



Special thanks to Northwest Jane (who is an overachiever) for letting me photograph her feet when I was supposed to be keeping her from dying.

Monday, November 23, 2009

[101] Guest Comic!

OMGWTFGUESTCOMIC!! Today's comic was written by Dante Shepherd, the gifted and talented criminal responsible for the atrocities over at www.survivingtheworld.net. Dante's intellect is simply too powerful to be permitted to intermingle with every-day society so we locked him in a room with a camera and a chalk-board. Now he spends all his time breaking his most genius thoughts down into easily digestible lessons that the rest of us can enjoy without the threat of being overwhelmed. Go there now, stop reading this.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

[99] Spine Flu

Sorry for the lack of ransom note style text; I wrote this comic entirely with my left hand. Check out the picture below. That discoloration on my finger is dry blood. I'm fairly certain I should be getting stitches right now. Apparently the fates are getting me back for chopping my sisters finger off when she was 10. (oh, don't look so shocked)

Monday, November 2, 2009

[98] Scooby Doo

Note: Special thanks to Dawn who had no idea that she was going to be staring in Skidmore Bluffs today.

Monday, October 26, 2009

[97] Scarecrow workplace hazards

I wanted to so something about The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, but I didn't think anyone would remember that show. I watched too much TV when I was a kid.

Monday, October 12, 2009

[95] The Frog's Dilemma

Dr. Sarah K. was kind enough to entertain the idea of writing a guest comic for me this weekend as I'm feeling a little under the weather. Unfortunately timing didn't work out. My thanks go out to her just the same.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

[BG2] Field

It's the second Wednesday desktop background!

This week we have them in three aspect ratios
16:10 - apple laptops
5:4 - most work computers
4:3 - other work computers

I don't really want to clutter up the site with a bunch of strangely shaped images so until I have a better idea, you can find them here: www.speaksphotographic.com/bluffsbackgrounds/

Click to enlarge the image you want, then hover your mouse over the top-left of the image. An icon will appear to allow you to download it. Let me know what you guys think!

Monday, September 21, 2009

[92] Fishing



Note: Taken on the campus of my alma mater: Willamette University. Not exactly sure why the sign was there but it sure was amusing.

Also: Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content, a man I hold in high regard, is somewhere that we've all been. You know the place; logically you know that things really aren't that bad but for some reason you can't help but think that everything is ruined forever. You should send him a tweet of encouragement @jephjacques.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

[BG1] Chopper

Greetings Skidmore Bluffs fans, At the insistence of my absolutely brilliant and drop-dead gorgeous comic-adviser, the Bookseller Chick, I'm going to start posting background images on Wednesdays. This is a brand new thing so I'd love to have feedback.

I'm posting the image in 16:10 (apple laptop size) and 5:4 (standard work-computer size) aspect ratios. Please let me know if you want other resolutions for future posts, and PLEASE don't forget the feedback!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

[!] Guest Comic? OH NO!

Greetings lovely readers,

Check out my guest comic over at Dante Shepherd's Surviving The World. Dante has a PHD in life and he wants to share his knowledge with you! Plus, he has a lab coat on, so he MUST be smart :)

Monday, August 31, 2009

[89] Flying Carpets




(Update!)
Dr. Sarah Kruse, PHD of economics was inspired by the photograph and decided to write her own text: "Flying carpet reintroduction programs never really took off. It appears their camouflaging abilities were lost in the 1970s."

Sunday, August 9, 2009

[86] True Love

Never fear, No FedEx boxes, Pathfinders, or guys named Marc were actually injured in the making of this comic. The FedEx box was leaning at that strange angle for some other reason and we nosed the truck up to it for effect.

Monday, August 3, 2009

[86] Misleading Packaging

Extra special thanks to Andrew's dad Bob. He came over to our house just to stand for this comic. Having met his lovely wife as well, I'm reasonably certain that he's not the sort of gentleman who would go hunting for tarts at the grocery store.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Thursday, July 16, 2009

[!] Found Wallet?

Greetings Skidmore Bluffs fans. I seem to have lost my money clip! The only identifying thing in my money clip was a single Skidmore Bluffs business card. If you pick up my money clip, please email me. My Address is over there on the right side of the screen.

Monday, July 13, 2009

[83] Fishnapping

For those of you who didn't grow up in the south, cotillion is this weird social dancing class that unlucky children are forced to take, often to the determent of their social status among their peers. Time for bed. (I really don't want to go to work tomorrow.)

Monday, June 29, 2009

[81] Insurance Fraud

Many thanks to the lovely patrons at India Grill who were kind enough to let me photograph them.

Monday, June 22, 2009

[80] Masters in Cashiering

Note: I'm sorry for the crappy text guys. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night (happy birthday to me) and I'm way too tired to put the ransom note style on here. I'll fix it on Monday and re-post.

goodnight!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Monday, June 8, 2009

[78] Chandelier Sabotage

I guess I'm a little bitter about this whole thing.

I'm dedicating today's comic to the very sad girl that I met at the bus stop. I hope it makes you happy again.

Monday, June 1, 2009

[77] People

The issue is certainly more complicated than this comic makes it seem, but I still think it's an important thing to consider.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

[76] Misunderstanding

Special thanks to Min for posing for this image without even asking if I was going to make a really obvious swingers joke. Min is also the inspiration for Derek Stubbs' comic The Min. It's a paper comic but you can see some of the pages here.

Monday, May 18, 2009

[75] Low Flying

Having learned to fly exclusively in sea-planes, young Chuck Yeager's first experience with traditional landing gear nearly ended in disaster.I had so many ideas for this one. There was an idea about twittering while flying, there was one about big-blue-watery-roads, there was one about rich people making stupid decisions. This photo just has so many possibilities!

also: I'm going to be syndicated!!! No, not the Washington Post (yet)*. A much more important publication has decided to pick up Skidmore Bluffs. Everyone should check out www.describetheruckus.com, they have a great blog about life and culture in Portland.

*Sorry for misleading you with bold text.. I couldn't resist.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

[73] Crack The Sky

Note: My mousing hand is now non-functional.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

[72] Vocabulary

Scrabble with the Decemberists:  Okay, new rule, Colin isn't allowed to use his dictionary of archaic words any more.
This should be read as a cheer for the new Decemberists album: The Hazards of Love. It takes a few listens but I promise you'll fall in love with it. If you're not familiar with the Decemberists or Colin Meloy, they are famous for their obscure vocabulary and flowery lyrics.

Monday, April 20, 2009

[71] Empty Nest Syndrome

I built this garden for my kids.  They never really appreciated it, though.  Things are so much more pleasant here since the apple incident.Note: G. Xavier Robillard (pictured here) is not, actually God. I say this because the world does not need his ego to get any larger.

Special thanks to Ali McCart, my lovely editor, for all the things she helped me with in preparation for Stumptown Comic Fest. If you need an editor you should definitely check out her company. She's totally boss.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

[!] SkidmoreBluffs at Stumptown Comic Fest?!!

Greetings lovely readers,

My publicist / spankin' hot table-girl "Bookseller Chick," has directed me to remind you all that there will be a Skidmore Bluffs table at the Stumptown Comic Festival this weekend. There will also be more than a hundred other fantastic tables there. You should all come down and support your local comic creators. (especially me)

I'll have several brand-new 1" pinback buttons, prints of some of the more popular comics, and free hugs for anyone who asks! (I don't know where the free hugs thing came from, I'm delerious.)

Also G. Xavier Robillard will be sharing a table with me. He's the author of Captain Freedom : A superhero's quest for truth, justice, and the celebrity he so richly deserves. (Harper Collins) and he'll be giving away copies of his book if you can answer some fiendishly tricky trivia questions.

See you there!

Monday, April 13, 2009

[70] Choices

ATTENTION!!: Next weekend is Stumptown Comic Festival! I will be there with a table and some delicious Skidmore Bluffs buttons, pre-order teeshirts, prints, etc for sale! See you there!

Monday, April 6, 2009

[69]Rope Swing

I never found out how billy got up to the abandoned alien warship, but that rope swing was legendary.Note: For some reason the comic has been a lot of people flying through the air lately. I promise to change it up a bit next week.

Monday, March 30, 2009

[68] Poppins

If you're afraid to fly, avoid borrowing umbrellas from friendly British women.Alternate text: Test pilots for the Air Force's "Powered Observation and Pursuit Platform for Intelegence and Nutralizing Strife" or POPPINS project, are asked to wear civilian clothing in case of emergency landing in populated areas.

Note: Thanks to Bookseller Chick for being the trigger-girl on this photo.

Monday, March 16, 2009

[66] Rainy Day Savings

Some of you may be aware that I sold a house a few months back. After you read the comic, check out this e-mail that my mom just sent me this morning after the comic went up.

when I heard this am that OR is having a wave of foreclosures because of job
losses (therefore there are far more houses available for lower prices); I
was glad again that you sold your house when you did. Yippee! (One thing to
smile about in these economic times ...)

XXX, Mom

What do I do now? Keep my word and skillet my mom in the face, or become a become a worthless shell of a man by breaking my totally binding promise to you readers?

Sunday, March 8, 2009

[65] Comic-Noir

Note: My lovely and charming occasional editor Ali was slightly creaped out by the skeezieness of the noir-style narrator in this comic. If you share her sentiment, I promise to write a less skeezie comic next week.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sunday, February 15, 2009

[62] Valentines day medication

Note: I've been crazy sick all week, so I had lots of drug bottles for this photo.

Monday, February 9, 2009

[61] Early Online Dating


Note: All work and no sleep makes Zander something something...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

[60] Not With a Bang but a Sizzle.


So, here's the deal with the lettering on the images. For a while, I've been building up the words by manually dragging each letter from a photoshop file. That file got overwritten two weeks ago. I rebuilt the file from the original image tonight but it wasn't quite right. My roomate, who is a font-creator, overheard my bitching and said "why don't you let me make a font of that for you." We talked a bit about why I've been doing it the hard way for so long and what I want out of the lettering. He thinks we can make it happen. So, again, I apologize for the lame lettering this week.

I am curious, however. What do you guys think about the various kinds of lettering I've used? Do you like the grumpy pigeon lettering from a few weeks ago? Do you like the standard ransom-note style that I've been doing for so long? Does it not matter to you at all?

Note: Pro-Deus editing provided by the lovely Ali of Indigo Editing

Monday, January 26, 2009

[59] Zen? Really?



Note: The title text may not be appropriate for children under the age of 13.

Regular font returns next week, when I'm not sleep deprived.

Monday, January 19, 2009

[58] Unintended Consequences.

Note: In the interest of full disclosure, I have been known to, on occassion, selfishly waste prescious potential energy by picking up heavy things just to put them back down again where they started.

That was quite an ordeal. I've been working on the promotional buttons for the upcoming stumptown comics fest, where I'll have a table. In the process of making some totally rad button designs I resized the image that I use as a make-shift font. (yes, it takes forever to drag the letters around one-by-one). Then I accidentally saved over the original. So, I had to go back to my old comics and grab the letters out of them one by one. I must find a new way to do my lettering. Suggestions?