Skidmore Bluffs

[149] Bird Baths

2011-11-14T00:44:00.000-08:00

Don't say I never made anything for you :)

[148] Delirium Tremens

2011-08-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

[147] Electric Toothbrushes

2011-08-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

Hey look, it's a comic. Bet you didn't expect that!

[!] Still Going

2011-06-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

Don't worry, Skidmore Bluffs isn't dead. I'm just low on ideas. Why not take this moment to subscribe to Skidmore Bluffs via that neat little doodad over there on the right side of your screen. Or, if you're old school like me, you could slap your e-mail address into the follow-by-email box. That way you'll always know RIGHT AWAY when I get off my lazy arse and post. Even when you're on the pot, even when you're fast asleep. (Note: I have no idea what the google* privacy policy is regarding email addresses. Subscribe at your own risk.)

*I don't capitalize google for the same reason I don't capitalize god.

[145] Eagerly

2011-06-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

[144] Unpopular Super Villains

2011-05-22T23:58:00.000-07:00

[143] Growing Up

2011-05-15T23:19:00.000-07:00

[142] Superman

2011-05-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

[141] Your Ex's Car.

2011-05-02T02:18:00.000-07:00

[140] Easter Bunny

2011-04-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

[139] Breakup Postcard #2

2011-04-18T00:28:00.000-07:00

I occasionally write breakup postcards. This particular one coincides with an actual break-up but it is far from being about my former lady friend.

[138] The Shard

2011-03-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

What the heck is Zander on about?

[137] Carts

2011-03-21T00:03:00.000-07:00

All kinds of new things! The text is fully automated now so I can focus on writing. The photo size is no longer limited to 400x400 (thanks Google) and there's that snazzy new logo again. Thanks for sticking around guys. Tell your friends that SB is back!

[136] Whimper

2011-03-11T06:54:00.000-08:00

This comic made possible by a beta version of my auto lettering system. Also, look - that's the Tate Modern! I'm in London!

[!] Never fear!

2011-03-11T03:46:00.000-08:00

Dear beautiful readers, I have something to show you:

var comicText = "thisisatest";

targetDocument = app.activeDocument; //make the currently active document the target
sourceDocument = app.documents.getByName("standard-text-2.psd");

for (i=0;i
{
activeDocument = sourceDocument;
copyLayer = app.activeDocument.artLayers.getByName(comicText.charAt(i));
copyLayer.copy();
activeDocument = targetDocument;
activeDocument.paste();
}

You're probably thinking: "what the hell, has Zander gone totally mad?" Well, yes - but that's not why I'm showing you this. That is the begining of a script that will make my lettering go from a hour long process to about a minute long process. I've been working on it all week.

I have received some really nice notes asking if SB will come back. It will. Please keep encouraging me - it helps to know that you guys are out there.

Love, Zander

[135] Doors

2011-02-07T01:21:00.000-08:00

Ooo.. new lettering, new logo!

[134] Crocodile

2011-01-24T01:36:00.000-08:00

Ghost of the staircase got me again. I wish I had put the alt-text on the image instead of what's on there. It's funnier. Unfortunatly I'm really sleepy and don't feel like re-doing it without my wacom stylus :( Next week: actual lettering in my actual handwriting!!

[133] Monster skiing.

2011-01-17T00:38:00.000-08:00

[132] Deadly Panda Bombs!

2010-12-27T14:12:00.000-08:00

[!] You can blame the lack of comic today on...

2010-12-20T12:27:00.000-08:00

Guest comic by Wendy Mertl. My next-door-neighbor who is SERIOUSLY overqualified to be writing a guest spot on SkidmoreBluffs. I'll link you to some of her work if she sends me a URL.

[131] Bat Tort

2010-12-06T00:18:00.000-08:00

[?] Confusion

2010-11-29T11:19:00.000-08:00

Note: Click on image for a larger/legible version.
Sorry, No photo comic today - slept for like 13 hours last night. Here is something to hold you over though:

[130] The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer

2010-11-22T02:00:00.000-08:00

Good news everyone: The girl with relationship troubles from last week discovered that the cat survived!

[129] Relationships

2010-11-15T01:00:00.001-08:00

Thanks to #5 for the quote. (#5 wishes to remain nameless for now) We all hope her relationship gets better soon.

[128] Spider Nobel Prizes

2010-11-08T01:38:00.000-08:00

[127] Tricycle

2010-10-17T23:41:00.000-07:00

[126] Break-up Postcard #1

2010-10-04T01:24:00.000-07:00

I was reading a review of the Bluffs a few days back. Someone said I was "very very very very much" like ASW. I thought to my self: Sure, similar styles but I think my writing is really different." Then I wrote this... oh well.

[125] Traffic Jammers Anonymous

2010-09-06T23:20:00.001-07:00

[124] Pacific Crossing

2010-08-20T00:15:00.000-07:00

[123] Gangs of the work room

2010-08-09T01:24:00.000-07:00

sick

2010-08-01T21:46:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have realized at this point that I tend to write the comic on sunday night around 11 or 12. sadly, tonight i'm sick. I will catch up on the comic monday night. Please forgive me. My head is screaming.

-Zander

[122] Holes

2010-07-26T02:30:00.001-07:00

[121] Gypsters

2010-07-19T01:43:00.001-07:00

[120] wigs

2010-07-12T01:39:00.000-07:00

[119] Sentries

2010-07-06T00:14:00.000-07:00

I told you I'd be back. :)

Hiatus

2010-05-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

Skidmore Bluffs is on Hiatus while Zander has his 1/3rd life crisis. Don't worry, He loves this thing and he will be back in June. Meanwhile, check out www.skidmorestreet.com Zander's fashion related street-photography site.

[118] Discarded

2010-04-25T23:46:00.000-07:00

Exciting day here at SkidmoreBluffs. I've launched a new photography site. It's still in it's infancy but the plan is for a more free-form street-photography blog. Theres a good chance it's going to end up being fashion related but for now it's just SkidmoreStreet.Com. New posts daily.

[117] Divine Error

2010-04-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

[116] The Demon Baker of Drury Lane.

2010-04-13T09:36:00.001-07:00

ahhhh!

2010-04-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

It's Monday morning and I just realized that I was supposed to do something last night. I'm going to have to postpone until tomorrow. Meanwhile - here are some set-photos from the SUPER SECRET PROJECT! :)

This is what they were supposed to be doing.

This is what they were actually doing. (look, that's me in the hat!)

[115] The Cut of the Magi

2010-04-05T00:52:00.000-07:00

[114] A Love Story

2010-03-29T00:35:00.000-07:00

Burnside And Steel Bridges,
A Love Story.

This Ambitious little project was inspired by a Tweet made by Megan Hale (aka: @skyesidhe): "I can see my love from here..oh steel bridge... (@ the burnside bridge)." Megan says many poet things and you should follow her if you're the following sort. I'm extra curious about what you guys think of this since it's such a strange idea. Did it make sense as a love story? Can you imagine the dialogue that two bridges have?

You can see the MANY photographs I took of these bridges for this project over on my flickr feed. There's a link over on the right.

Spam Poetry

2010-03-25T16:36:00.000-07:00

I apologize for distracting you from your regular photo comic but this is really quite odd. I just received some spam that had neither attachment nor embedded URL. Seemingly this spam is without purpose other than to be spam. As such, I would like to formally recognize it as a new kind of free-form poetry. I know this seems ridiculous but if you've read Neuromancer you might have a better idea why I find this so interesting.

"Darin Rush"
A poem by Spam-Robot. Composed of selected
lines from Beyond The City by C. Doyle and others.
Nom de plume: Dewey Laura (0f.ay@ms29.hinet.n*t)

"Out with it!" Said I.
"Perhaps they will have some stout. Oysters will do. -And Clara is quite as bad." Said he.
I'll take you there with pleasure." Said I.
"Is that right? Shall we say two years?" Said he.
"Still it's truth all the same." said I.
"Do you like Harold Denver? There is nothing hidden about him. All that's mine is yours." said he.
"Which would be the best for her?" said I.
"Every day fewer good." said he.
"Now you will have bad dreams." said I.
"To me it is all the same." He shook his head. "Nor was there anything perverted about it."
"But did thee feel the earth move?" said I.
"There could have been. That is the pistol." said he.

[113] Don't be lonely

2010-03-22T01:43:00.000-07:00

[BG005] Jets

2010-03-15T01:03:00.000-07:00

It's another background image week. I hope you like this as much as I do. As always, you can download several different aspect-ratio backgrounds from www.speaksphotographic.com/bluffsbackgrounds. Go get 'em! I'm excited about next week. See you then!

[112] Don't Be Evil.

2010-03-08T00:52:00.000-08:00

This is another out-of-context photo taken from the major project that I'm working on. I still can't tell you much about the actual project but suffice it to say that it's taking nearly all my free time. I hope you enjoy the comic!

[111] Devine Mugging

2010-03-01T01:28:00.001-08:00

This is a shot from the super-secret project (SSP). My crew and I started shooting images for SSP Sunday night. Of course, it's not about Adam as a mugger, I took this out of context.. but it's a neat hint!

[110] Suprise

2010-02-22T07:27:00.001-08:00

Thanks this week to Sarah McGregor, who wishes to inform you all that she is most definitely not 30 yet and in-fact has several years left to go. I hope you all liked it. I'm thinking that there might be an out-of-sequence comic next week too. We'll see.

[BG004] Steerage

2010-02-15T01:11:00.000-08:00

New background for this week. As always, you can find the full versions in several different formats here: http://speaksphotographic.com/bluffsbackgrounds. See you next week with a full length comic!

[109] Tools

2010-02-08T01:02:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Sarah and Brady for driving out into the wilds beyond Beaverton this week to take pictures on a pretty street. Poor Sarah had spent the whole previous day sick but she was still willing to don* spandex and stand in the cold for two hours. You guys rock. See you all in two weeks! Check back next week for a new Skidmore Bluffs themed background!

[BG003] Flight

2010-02-01T00:11:00.001-08:00

I've discovered that Skidmore Bluffs is going to become a biweekly publication. It takes a fair amount of time for me to write and shoot a new comic. On the off weeks I'll still be providing you with a treat. This week you get a new Skidmore Bluffs background. I hope you enjoy! Note: you can find high resolution versions of this and all the other backgrounds here: Www.SpeaksPhotographic.Com/bluffsbackgrounds

[update]
I've just noticed that there is a spot on the final images. I'll fix it tonight and you can get a non-spotted version tomorrow.

[108] Haiti

2010-01-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

Special thanks to Helena for spending 3 hours with me on Saturday when I'm sure she had much better things to be doing. My heart goes out to the people who are suffering in the aftermath of the Haiti earthquake. If you have the means, please donate to one of the many aid groups out there. My personal favorite is Engineers Without Borders. If you don't have the means, there is a fair amount of science that seems to indicate that prayer can have a beneficial effect why not go for it.

As always, let me know what you guys think. Your comments keep me going.

[!] Where the hell is my SkidmoreBluffs?

2010-01-18T09:34:00.001-08:00

At the moment, your Skidmore Bluffs is on a piece of paper in my kitchen. I'm having a little trouble with where Skidmore Bluffs goes next. The new evolution as a sequential comic with no text is definitely what I want to be doing but it's proving to be very difficult to get models and time to shoot. Last night, a friend suggested that I go to biweekly but I'm sure you guys wouldn't like that so much. While I contemplate what the right solution is, I'll keep writing story boards and shooting when I can.

In the mean-time I'd like to build an e-mail list of people that want to know about the future of Skidmore Bluffs. I give you my word that I won't sell your address to a German porn company. If you're interested, send an e-mail to skidmorebluffs[at]sneaksneak[period]org. Just put "subscribe" in the subject line.

You guys are all wonderful and I'm grateful to have you as fans. Expect something exciting soon.

[UPDATE]
I have a model and a shooting time for this weekend. You will get your weekly dose of Skidmore Bluffs next week. PLUS there's a super secret project! I'm excited but it will be a while before I can tell you anything other than it's SO FRICKING COOL!

See you next week!

[!] Call for models!

2010-01-15T13:43:00.000-08:00

If you'd like to star in a future Skidmore Bluffs comic, let me know! All types of people are welcome. You just have to be comfortable acting in front of a camera, have about 2 hours of free time on a weekend, and live in Portland, Oregon. My e-mail address is over there on the right hand side. Send me a note if you're game.

[108] Concentration

2010-01-11T02:42:00.000-08:00

So, it turns out that there isn't enough time in the day to move to a new apartment and shoot an 8 frame story all in one day. So, here's another classic style SkidmoreBluffs comic. See you next week!

[107] Hungry

2010-01-03T23:25:00.000-08:00

Woo! It's sequential! Also, I didn't have to spend any time dragging around letters or drawing tiny boxes. This was really fun to make and has made me excited about Skidmore Bluffs again. I very much want to know what you guys think. Obviously this is the first edition of a totally new style for me so some things need to get ironed out but I have some pretty exciting plans.

Also, no alt text - we'll get that sorted eventually. In lieu of alt text, you get an out-take shot. Tons of thanks to Sara(h) and Ara for their help. I get the feeling they might be appearing in future editions now that I need models.

[106] drilling

2009-12-28T10:57:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what this ship actually does but you have to admit it's awesome!

[105] WAR

2009-12-21T02:46:00.000-08:00

[104] Close Encounters of the Cake Kind

2009-12-14T01:42:00.001-08:00

What you don't know is that the cake is actually missing the back half in this photo. We got tired of waiting for that scene to appear in the movie and decided it would be safe to just eat the back and then hide it in the photo. Thanks to Liz for the idea and Ian for the title!

[103] Consumerism

2009-12-07T00:24:00.000-08:00

[102] Overachievers

2009-11-29T23:23:00.001-08:00

Special thanks to Northwest Jane (who is an overachiever) for letting me photograph her feet when I was supposed to be keeping her from dying.

[101] Guest Comic!

2009-11-23T00:42:00.001-08:00

OMGWTFGUESTCOMIC!! Today's comic was written by Dante Shepherd, the gifted and talented criminal responsible for the atrocities over at www.survivingtheworld.net. Dante's intellect is simply too powerful to be permitted to intermingle with every-day society so we locked him in a room with a camera and a chalk-board. Now he spends all his time breaking his most genius thoughts down into easily digestible lessons that the rest of us can enjoy without the threat of being overwhelmed. Go there now, stop reading this.

[100] Served All Day

2009-11-16T01:01:00.000-08:00

[99] Spine Flu

2009-11-08T22:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of ransom note style text; I wrote this comic entirely with my left hand. Check out the picture below. That discoloration on my finger is dry blood. I'm fairly certain I should be getting stitches right now. Apparently the fates are getting me back for chopping my sisters finger off when she was 10. (oh, don't look so shocked)

[98] Scooby Doo

2009-11-02T00:55:00.000-08:00

Note: Special thanks to Dawn who had no idea that she was going to be staring in Skidmore Bluffs today.

[97] Scarecrow workplace hazards

2009-10-26T00:23:00.000-07:00

I wanted to so something about The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, but I didn't think anyone would remember that show. I watched too much TV when I was a kid.

[96] The Invasion

2009-10-19T00:53:00.000-07:00

[95] The Frog's Dilemma

2009-10-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

Dr. Sarah K. was kind enough to entertain the idea of writing a guest comic for me this weekend as I'm feeling a little under the weather. Unfortunately timing didn't work out. My thanks go out to her just the same.

[94] Dracula

2009-10-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

[93] Birds

2009-09-27T23:07:00.001-07:00

[BG2] Field

2009-09-24T01:37:00.000-07:00

It's the second Wednesday desktop background!

This week we have them in three aspect ratios
16:10 - apple laptops
5:4 - most work computers
4:3 - other work computers

I don't really want to clutter up the site with a bunch of strangely shaped images so until I have a better idea, you can find them here: www.speaksphotographic.com/bluffsbackgrounds/

Click to enlarge the image you want, then hover your mouse over the top-left of the image. An icon will appear to allow you to download it. Let me know what you guys think!

[92] Fishing

2009-09-21T00:08:00.000-07:00

Note: Taken on the campus of my alma mater: Willamette University. Not exactly sure why the sign was there but it sure was amusing.

Also: Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content, a man I hold in high regard, is somewhere that we've all been. You know the place; logically you know that things really aren't that bad but for some reason you can't help but think that everything is ruined forever. You should send him a tweet of encouragement @jephjacques.

[BG1] Chopper

2009-09-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings Skidmore Bluffs fans, At the insistence of my absolutely brilliant and drop-dead gorgeous comic-adviser, the Bookseller Chick, I'm going to start posting background images on Wednesdays. This is a brand new thing so I'd love to have feedback.

I'm posting the image in 16:10 (apple laptop size) and 5:4 (standard work-computer size) aspect ratios. Please let me know if you want other resolutions for future posts, and PLEASE don't forget the feedback!

[91] adultery

2009-09-14T01:56:00.000-07:00

[90] The Lollypop Guild

2009-09-07T13:04:00.001-07:00

[!] Guest Comic? OH NO!

2009-09-01T11:34:00.001-07:00

Greetings lovely readers,

Check out my guest comic over at Dante Shepherd's Surviving The World. Dante has a PHD in life and he wants to share his knowledge with you! Plus, he has a lab coat on, so he MUST be smart :)

[89] Flying Carpets

2009-08-31T00:17:00.001-07:00

(Update!)
Dr. Sarah Kruse, PHD of economics was inspired by the photograph and decided to write her own text: "Flying carpet reintroduction programs never really took off. It appears their camouflaging abilities were lost in the 1970s."

[88] invisibility

2009-08-24T00:51:00.000-07:00

[87] CSI Nightmare

2009-08-17T00:54:00.000-07:00

[86] True Love

2009-08-09T22:18:00.000-07:00

Never fear, No FedEx boxes, Pathfinders, or guys named Marc were actually injured in the making of this comic. The FedEx box was leaning at that strange angle for some other reason and we nosed the truck up to it for effect.

[86] Misleading Packaging

2009-08-03T01:20:00.000-07:00

Extra special thanks to Andrew's dad Bob. He came over to our house just to stand for this comic. Having met his lovely wife as well, I'm reasonably certain that he's not the sort of gentleman who would go hunting for tarts at the grocery store.

[85] Lockheed Martin's XH-135 "Witch Killer"

2009-07-27T02:39:00.000-07:00

Note: It's really damn hot in Oregon right now.

[84] Homeland Security

2009-07-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

[!] Found Wallet?

2009-07-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

Greetings Skidmore Bluffs fans. I seem to have lost my money clip! The only identifying thing in my money clip was a single Skidmore Bluffs business card. If you pick up my money clip, please email me. My Address is over there on the right side of the screen.

[83] Fishnapping

2009-07-13T01:28:00.000-07:00

For those of you who didn't grow up in the south, cotillion is this weird social dancing class that unlucky children are forced to take, often to the determent of their social status among their peers. Time for bed. (I really don't want to go to work tomorrow.)

[82] Junk Yard Dogs Need Love Too

2009-07-06T01:19:00.000-07:00

[81] Insurance Fraud

2009-06-29T01:26:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to the lovely patrons at India Grill who were kind enough to let me photograph them.

[80] Masters in Cashiering

2009-06-22T01:04:00.000-07:00

Note: I'm sorry for the crappy text guys. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night (happy birthday to me) and I'm way too tired to put the ransom note style on here. I'll fix it on Monday and re-post.

goodnight!

[79] JUMP! JUMP!

2009-06-15T00:20:00.000-07:00

It's just so inviting...

[78] Chandelier Sabotage

2009-06-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm a little bitter about this whole thing.

I'm dedicating today's comic to the very sad girl that I met at the bus stop. I hope it makes you happy again.

[77] People

2009-06-01T00:47:00.001-07:00

The issue is certainly more complicated than this comic makes it seem, but I still think it's an important thing to consider.

[76] Misunderstanding

2009-05-26T00:44:00.000-07:00

Special thanks to Min for posing for this image without even asking if I was going to make a really obvious swingers joke. Min is also the inspiration for Derek Stubbs' comic The Min. It's a paper comic but you can see some of the pages here.

[75] Low Flying

2009-05-18T00:20:00.001-07:00

I had so many ideas for this one. There was an idea about twittering while flying, there was one about big-blue-watery-roads, there was one about rich people making stupid decisions. This photo just has so many possibilities!

also: I'm going to be syndicated!!! No, not the Washington Post (yet)*. A much more important publication has decided to pick up Skidmore Bluffs. Everyone should check out www.describetheruckus.com, they have a great blog about life and culture in Portland.

*Sorry for misleading you with bold text.. I couldn't resist.

[74] Treacherous Bushes

2009-05-11T00:53:00.001-07:00

[73] Crack The Sky

2009-05-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

Note: My mousing hand is now non-functional.

[72] Vocabulary

2009-04-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

This should be read as a cheer for the new Decemberists album: The Hazards of Love. It takes a few listens but I promise you'll fall in love with it. If you're not familiar with the Decemberists or Colin Meloy, they are famous for their obscure vocabulary and flowery lyrics.

[71] Empty Nest Syndrome

2009-04-20T01:31:00.001-07:00

Note: G. Xavier Robillard (pictured here) is not, actually God. I say this because the world does not need his ego to get any larger.

Special thanks to Ali McCart, my lovely editor, for all the things she helped me with in preparation for Stumptown Comic Fest. If you need an editor you should definitely check out her company. She's totally boss.

[!] SkidmoreBluffs at Stumptown Comic Fest?!!

2009-04-18T01:42:00.000-07:00

Greetings lovely readers,

My publicist / spankin' hot table-girl "Bookseller Chick," has directed me to remind you all that there will be a Skidmore Bluffs table at the Stumptown Comic Festival this weekend. There will also be more than a hundred other fantastic tables there. You should all come down and support your local comic creators. (especially me)

I'll have several brand-new 1" pinback buttons, prints of some of the more popular comics, and free hugs for anyone who asks! (I don't know where the free hugs thing came from, I'm delerious.)

Also G. Xavier Robillard will be sharing a table with me. He's the author of Captain Freedom : A superhero's quest for truth, justice, and the celebrity he so richly deserves. (Harper Collins) and he'll be giving away copies of his book if you can answer some fiendishly tricky trivia questions.

See you there!

[70] Choices

2009-04-13T01:07:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION!!: Next weekend is Stumptown Comic Festival! I will be there with a table and some delicious Skidmore Bluffs buttons, pre-order teeshirts, prints, etc for sale! See you there!

[69]Rope Swing

2009-04-06T00:18:00.000-07:00

Note: For some reason the comic has been a lot of people flying through the air lately. I promise to change it up a bit next week.